Welcome to Kenze's blog

I had a conversation with a friend of mine recently. We covered a whole lot of subjects, you know, trying to fill each other in on the months lost. And as a lovaholic, i inquired about her love life and her response was: “don’t mind that boy jare, he   thinks I’m still that little girl he tutored for JAMB.” A pparently, my friend had some slight difficulty passing jamb at first attempt, so her well-meaning parents got her this handsome corps member(at that time) to help beat some chemistry equations into her head. Whether it was his good looks or his teaching skills, I do not know, all I know is she passed jamb very well, read a pretty cool course and graduated successfully plus she is a beauty to behold and yet our dear brother hasn’t made a move yet.         I tried probing further to find out what the exact problem was, after a while of what I like to term as “ the lovaholic’s interrogation”   I found out that my dear friend had been friend-zoned. Was I surprised, yes of c

Ever wonder what the secret is to leading a good life? There seems to be one study that has finally solved the burning question. Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger is a director of a long running study on adult development conducted by Harvard University. Since 1938, the 75 year old study has observed 724 young men. They were divided into two groups: sophomore college students who went off to graduate and serve in World War II, and young male teenagers who lived in some of the poorest neighborhoods of Boston, Massachusetts in the 1930's. When they entered the study, they were interviewed, given medical exams, and their families were interviewed as well. Their lives remained under observation for several decades. The observations included surveys, interviews, and records of behavior during specific life events. The result of these observations were definitely interesting –– in some cases, they were extraordinary. Some of them have gone on to climb the social ladder, one became the pres

One of the greatest resources that you can have in the world today is relationships. Everything in our world operates based on our relationships and connections. The connections that we establish, whether with our coworkers, church groups, friends or partner feed us spiritually and emotionally.  When life hits a rough patch these connections uplift us and see us through the darkest roads. Yet, all too often, we are the ones continually giving our time, support and energy to those who take us for granted. We deserve the real thing and can no longer suffer through one-sided exchanges. In his book about enduring partnerships and love, an award winning researcher at the University of Maryland found that a key to fulfilling relationships is to have common values and expectations for each other.  His research found that people settle for unfulfilling relationships far too often, yet those in successful relationships were both “courteous, flexible, trusting, good-natured and cooperative”

1. Initiate In Unexpected Moments Or Situations In long-term relationships, most couples don’t make much of an effort to initiate sex creatively, or even at all. Think about the last few times you initiated sex; odds are it was probably at the end of the night, when you were already in bed and exhausted. Instead, try to initiate sex in moments when your partner not expecting it, like first thing in the morning, or right after they get out of the shower. 2. Be A Tease A little bit of playful withholding can be incredibly sexy. Try talking dirty to your partner when having sex isn't a possibility, like while you're out at dinner or in a movie theater. Tell your partner that you can't wait to get back home, and tell them exactly what you want to do when you get there. You can also tease during sex itself . A lot of long-term couples end up going through the same routines and having hurried sex. Instead, try prolonging the process as long as you can stand it. Get your partn

Change can sometimes come into our lives at the most unexpected moments. We may fear it, we may run from it, but when things change in our lives the opportunities for growth are immediate. We have only to look at the gorgeous Irrawaddy dolphins of Southeast Asia to understand the power in adapting to our circumstances. The dolphins adapted their hunting skills to combat a dwindling food supply. Instead of allowing their circumstances to be their demise, they found a new way to survive. They learned to aid local fishermen in order to find food.  The dolphins get first pick of the catch in exchange for driving schools of fish into their nets. When faced with changes that we cannot control, we have the same opportunity to adapt, to find a way forward. Let’s not spend precious time describing the water as we drown.  Instead, fight to stay afloat. Fighting against the unexpected changes depletes us; we live with power when we find our flow. Research shows that those who exhibit flexibi

Peter Kuhmerker was set for the vacation of a lifetime — a nine-day Ireland tour from Dublin to Killarney booked through Great Value Vacations. As a precaution, he even purchased a “cancel for any reason” travel insurance policy through the company. And then his life almost ended. Kuhmerker suffered a heart attack just a few days before his departure. He contacted Great Value Vacations, which assured him it would secure a full refund from his hotel and airline. But he didn’t file a claim, instead relying on the company’s promise of a refund. “I followed up with a phone call and was treated rather rudely,” says Kuhmerker, an IT worker from Alexandria, Va. “I could understand why I might not get a full or partial refund but they insisted that I log onto their system and fill out a cancellation form – even though they said I would not get a refund.” Kuhmerker’s case took a while to fix, but thanks to a lot of persistence on his part and a nudge or two from my advocacy team, he finally

In every romantic relationship, there comes that important transitional moment when a casual flirtation either deepens into something more meaningful or simply fizzles out. If you’ve been dating someone for a while—long enough to know you definitely like the person, but briefly enough that you don’t know where the relationship is ultimately headed—you may be starting to wonder if the connection you share has the potential for a real future, or if you’re spinning your wheels, hanging out with someone you only really connect with on a surface level. You and your potentially-significant other must have something in common, otherwise you wouldn’t have started dating in the first place. But is this commonality—an intense physical attraction, a similarly weird sense of humor, a shared love of Joss Whedon, whatever—the sum total of what you have to offer each other, or is it the seed of a deep and lasting bond? Only time will tell how your relationship will change and grow, but keep a look o

Thoughts!!!!

Everyone can relate to failure. No matter how beautiful or handsome, rich or poor, dark or fair etc you are, you would fail at one point or the other in your life. The difference between a successful and unsuccesful person is the fact that the former refused to stop at where they failed. They refused to see themselves as failures They refused to allow the negtive opinions of others to discourage them. One thing is certain, at some point in your life you may  not find anyone to encourage. You just have to pick up yourself and keep moving. The truth they say is bitter but the taste of failure is equally bitter, if not more. One reason  why people do not like to face their failures is because  they believe that once a person fails,  he is a failure. The funny truth is that not facing your failures is a failure in itself  and it can lead to deeper and more vigorous consequences, if not checked appropriately. Confronting your failures helps you have an appraisal on your actions, where you

Many folks find it hard to irrigate their relationships. They always want to be around the same kind of people. Sometimes, when people find themselves in a place where they are regarded as the best or they exercise some form of control, they don't want to leave, always wanting to be around the same set of people. Its a simple problem of comfort zone. People  sometimes tend to get too comfortable in a particular place and it becomes a problem as time goes on because it invaribaly means they are not really improving. The fact that you are a doctor doesnt mean you should only hang around doctors. The fact that you are a millionaire doesnt mean you should only hang with millionaires or people less wealthy. One problem most people face is that they feel more  comfortable hanging around people who share a similar problem with them. A single lady will tend to feel more comfortable hanging around single ladies and not married women because she feels she may fall short, when it comes to re

Deep!!!

It’s time to listen to ourselves. There it is--our inner voice--trying to get our attention again. Our gut instincts warned us about this job but we’ve been stuck grinding anyway. Our inner voice sent up the red flags about him, but we kept trying to make it work regardless. Our internal compass always knows the way, but too often the routine of life lulls us back into complacency. Fear of making the wrong decision threatens us with emotional paralysis. Yet, we know the right answers and need to start trusting ourselves. In fact, researchers at Northwestern University found that our gut instincts are usually right. Their work found that our intuition plays a vital role in finding solutions to conflicts that arise in our lives.  The feelings are there for a reason--they found that first reactions are usually based on important memories and signals coming from our brains. At our next crossroads, let us learn to listen to our internal compass as it guides us in the direction of tru

Its so sad to see terrorism and violence rise in the world woth such ease. For me, this goes beyond religion. There are other factors responsible for this unfortunate emergence. Looking at the spate of terrorists attacks in Africa and Europe, its suffice to say three factors are majorly responsible for this occurrence. Poverty, Selfishness and Unforgiveness are the three major causes of the rise of terrorism and terrorists in the world. It is unfortunate that one man would think that he can dictate what happens in the world and force people to subscribe to his beliefs. The time has come for us to go past shuffling blames between religions and take calculated and meticulous steps towards cutting down this evil that is being perpetuated by reprobate, misanthropic, evil, malevolent, puerile, recalcitrant and irate minds. We can stop this shameless low life by being united. Yes we can!!! # Stoptheviolence

Every living person is a vibrant embodiment of a designed purpose and destiny — a walking, breathing, speaking organism that has been set on a path to fulfill a specific goal during its existence. Though we all might have different purposes and destinies, there is something every destiny-driven person shares with another — a pulse! Of course, your pulse signifies the thumping of your heart. However, it does far more than that. Your pulse signifies that your entire body is being fed everything it needs to survive and thrive. There are several places throughout your body that allow you to feel the pulse of your heart. What you feel when you place your fingers against your jugular vein should be the same thing you feel when your fingers are placed against your wrist. Both areas on your body should have the same rhythm and energy because the pulse — the beating of the heart — sustains everything God has assembled in you. If the pulse stops, the body dies. As it is in our bodies, it shoul

How much do you desire success?

There's not one "right" or exact formula to be able to understand just how much someone loves you, there are definitely some habits and signals that they genuinely care about you, perhaps more than you give them credit for. Be on the lookout for these, and consider that maybe, there's more love in your life than you realize. They Aren't Inconvenienced By Your Feelings You know you've been extra complain-y lately, and maybe in a bad mood for a few days in a row at least. Yet, your significant other doesn't really see it that way, nor are they holding it against you. Sure, you had a bad night or two, but they aren't inconvenienced by your normal, natural range of emotions and experiences. They're Loyal To You It's not that they say they'll be loyal to you, but that they actually are. You could never dream of them being unfaithful or speaking ill of you behind your back — yet you don't realize what a rarity and privilege it is. They W

Do you trust your instincts? When you hear your inner voice leading you, do you follow? Or have you learned, like too many have, to suppress it in order to make others happy. We must empower our instincts by breaking outside of other’s expectations and living our truth. Others in your life will have expectations for how you should act, look, and feel, but you must trust your instincts instead.  We tie ourselves up in knots trying to be who they want us to be, and not our true selves;  this only leads to disconnection and dissatisfaction. Remember that our instincts are the treasure map for our soul’s satisfaction. So many of us have been crammed into positions for which we have been trained, but which our instincts tell us feel wrong.  So many of us continue in relationships and friendships that feel troublesome instead of heeding our internal warning signs and running the other way. The longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself; a deeper knowledge and appreciation