Friendzoning: Give me all or Let me go

I had a conversation with a friend of mine recently. We covered a whole lot of subjects, you know, trying to fill each other in on the months lost. And as a lovaholic, i inquired about her love life and her response was: “don’t mind that boy jare, he  thinks I’m still that little girl he tutored for JAMB.” Apparently, my friend had some slight difficulty passing jamb at first attempt, so her well-meaning parents got her this handsome corps member(at that time) to help beat some chemistry equations into her head. Whether it was his good looks or his teaching skills, I do not know, all I know is she passed jamb very well, read a pretty cool course and graduated successfully plus she is a beauty to behold and yet our dear brother hasn’t made a move yet.

        I tried probing further to find out what the exact problem was, after a while of what I like to term as “the lovaholic’s interrogation”  I found out that my dear friend had been friend-zoned. Was I surprised, yes of course, back then in school, it was almost as if they were dating, I mean they chatted for hours on end so cheerfully and always involved each other on major decisions of their lives. In fact we felt the reason he hadn’t said the magic words yet was that she was married to her books. Being a very mushy person I had their lives planned out already, from their wedding color combo to her wedding dress to how many children they would have, in fact I had everything planned out. Did I forget to mention how much she loves this guy, I mean the love she has for this guy she just like a copied assignment she just can’t explain it.That serious?, so why hasn’t he given her “THE FULL BAE’S BENEFITS” yet?, that I do not know, but what I told her I shall tell you.

        You know some people in our lives will never realize we are the “best boo material” around until they are kicked into that realization. And by “kicked into realization” I don’t mean asking pathetic questions like: “who am I to you” or “it actually time you made this official”, you actually have a right to know where you stand but taking this approach will only lead to either of these two things, losing a potential relationship (if he or she is interested in you romantically) or a friendship (if he or she isn’t interested in you romantically) or even both.

I realized from experience that majority of people caught up in this kind of situation have one problem, which is, they give too much without receiving anything in return. They usually have an overbearing and choking attitude they tag as love which has taken the respect out of their friendship and all they are seen as is a problem solver and nothing more, the exact reason why they can be called up at 12 mid-night to fix a spoilt bulb without much consideration given to their emotions or how inconveniencing that can be for them at that time, these set of persons almost always oblige to such demands with the hope that those they do it for will one day come around to see they deserve the tittle “bae” which almost never happens because humans in general often take for granted people they get on a platter of gold or people who are readily available to clean up their mess, if you doubt my theory simply rate your respect for your tissue on a scale of 1-10 and be truthful about it. Make yourself desirable by not always being at their beck and call, scape out those excesses you call “acts of love” until there is a commitment, if you keep giving them “THE FULL BOO’S BENEFIT” then there won’t be a need for them to step up.

No matter how much you try, some people would just not find you desirable. If this is the case, move on, someone who will appreciate you will surely find you. Remember you are searching for “the one” and not “them one”. Just keep developing yourself.

      For all ye “friend-zoners” the lord is watching you all in 3d oh! Repent oh! (lol)