Welcome to Kenze's blog

Some women in the society today seem to prefer to remain single, as a result of the recent spate of lazy guys who prefer to depend on their wives rather work and be the breadwinners in their home. The continuous rise of women's rights has been part of the impetus for the lack of interest of women in marriage. However, there are several reasons why some women decline to get married. 1. Women have become the person they eventually wanted to marry. Gloria Steinem said “We are becoming the men we wanted to marry”. We are strong and independent enough to take care of ourselves. We don’t need a man to do that for us anymore. Women are self-sufficient and so they are getting married less as compared to the old tradition. 2. Successful women are a threat to most men Men don’t like it when they feel their masculinity is threatened in any way and especially when it’s from the opposite gender. Men usually don’t like being with a woman who makes him feel inf...

“Couples who argue a lot might love each other deeply”. At a first glance, this statement looks all shades of weird, right? I thought so too but like I’ll always say; understand before you criticize. It took me quite some time to really grasp the sense around this statement but experience came to the rescue. Now, truthfully, no one wants to be in a relationship where the sun sets and rises on their arguments. In a perfect world, relationships would really blissful all through, but I guess this is the point where I tell you: “Welcome to the imperfect world”. Relationships usually start on a very pleasant note. Everything all seems to be all bright and beautiful at the beginning, especially for relationships where the guy has had to go through months of toasting and waiting. Suddenly, a few weeks/months down the line, you start discovering things about yourselves that sort of puts you guys off, and the result; arguments, arguments and lots of arguments. So,...

Cheating, even with how heartbreaking it is, has unfortunately become a common phenomenon in relationships. In a perfect world, no one would cheat and relationships would have a complete season of bliss, devoid of suspicion and unfaithfulness but alas, welcome to reality. You know, I was a bit confused at first, as to how to coin my topic. I was stuck between using 'when' and 'if' but I opted for 'if' in my topic because it felt less pessimistic. It is widely believed that the men are more guilty of this 'sin'. In fact, for some ladies, its a big red flag in a relationship. The argument is that 'Men are biologically polygamous. Funny or truth? Thats a question for you to answer.However, both men and women are guilty of cheating. On a lighter note, some have even argued that cheating in a relationship should be a vocabulary reserved only for married folks, because as far as they are concerned you cant possibly cheat on someone who you are not marrie...

​Love is a force of nature. However much we may want to, we can not command, demand, or take away love, any more than we can command the moon and the stars and the wind and the rain to come and go according to our whims. We may have some limited ability to change the weather, but we do so at the risk of upsetting an ecological balance we don't fully understand. Similarly, we can stage a seduction or mount a courtship, but the result is more likely to be infatuation, or two illusions dancing together, than love. Love is bigger than you are. You can invite love, but you cannot dictate how, when, and where love expresses itself. You can choose to surrender to love, or not, but in the end love strikes like lightening, unpredictable and irrefutable. You can even find yourself loving people you don't like at all. Love does not come with conditions, stipulations, addenda, or codes. Like the sun, love radiates independently of our fears and desires. Love is inherently free. It ca...

The thought of February 14 ignites the flame of love in the hearts of many. Its usually seen as a `Love and Romance Certified day'. Many guys have a tendency of looking for ways to break-up before this day in order to avoid spending  ton of cash while some other willing spenders desperately go in search of someone to spend the Valentine's day with. Although, no one can tell the aftermath hurried communion. Its Valentine Day 2018. By the way what really is this Valentine's Day that lovers would not give us breathing space. There are several stories suggesting the origin of Valentine's day. For example, one legend records that Valentine was a 3rd century Priest in Rome, who went ahead to marry young lovers, in defiance of the law which stated that single men made better soldiers than married men. Another legend suggests that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According ...

​ The term Love cannot be boxed into one definition. Everyone choose what it means to them and how they express it. Away from the societal definition, I decided to undertake a scholarly view of love- how it comes and what it means- in order to see love from different perspectives. Join me on this journey as wr learn from two schools of thought; the philosophers and the psychologists. It may seem doubtful that philosophers have much to tell us about love (beyond their love of wisdom). Surely it is the poets who have the market cornered when it comes to deep reflection on the nature of love. John and Ken question the notion that love cannot be captured by the light of reason by turning their attention to the philosophy of love with philosopher-poet Troy Jollimore from CSU Chico. Troy is the author of Love’s Vision, as well as two collections of poems: At Lake Scugog and 2006's Tom Thomson in Purgatory, which won the National Book Critics Circle Award.  Many people hav...

Have you ever regretted decisions that have reshaped your life, whether for better or for worse? At a recent get-together with a couple of friends, we became so relaxed, some of us started discussing our dead marriages. Out of about 12 of us in the group, only three were currently in their ‘husbands’ homes, we’ve all fared pretty well after the divorce, but would any of us have wished she’s acted differently, knowing how mercurial the state of matrimony is now? “The end of my marriage came as a terrible shock to me,” confessed Abi, a pharmacist running a lucrative chemist. “But it shouldn’t have. Even though I was with my husband for over 15 years, the cracks had started shortly after the birth of our third son. “We never really stopped to address the reasons why we seldom turned on each other, why sex had been so mechanical it had lost its pleasure. Instead, we limped along for another eight years when the end finally came. And i...

This is a Guest Post. Dont get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing! That was the verdict passed by our very own DBanj. What the koko crooner failed to add, however, is that the beauty of love fades away at the point of marriage, at least in Africa. Marriage, which should be the apex of love affairs, has become a sad albatross in the love adventure simply because of the many barriers we put in the way all in the name of tradition. Oh, how I hate that word with perfect hatred! I am speaking here in reference to the many stages of marriage rites in African cultures which discourage rather than strengthen marriage. The worst and pivotal part of these rites of passage is the payment of bride price to obtain the lady and have her for keeps. Before putting my pen to paper, I floated the idea of the termination of bride price payment before a random cross-section of people of different age groups and traditional and educational leanings. Most of the responses I got toed the line of How...

Research has shown that about 64% of the people who go to work, go because of the desire for a paycheck and not necessarily because they love the job, because desire they say is the fundamental drive of all human  action . Against this backlash, both the people at work and the work itself could get frustrating sometimes. Here are five ways to relate better at your work place, in the midst of it all. 1.  Don’t Take Bad Moods Personally Everyone has bad days, and the best way to show grace when a colleague has the blues is not to take it to heart. If it seems like your colleague or supervisor has “an attitude” one day, don’t escalate the situation by taking offense or using the same tone with them that offended you. Consider that they could be having problems at home or work that you don’t know about. Chalk up their behavior as having nothing to do with you. You, too, might have a bad day at work and need someone to extend grace to you in this ma...

Recently, there has been an upsurge in the campaignagainst abusive relationships. Despite the warcry against women staying in abusive relationships, some of them still choose to stay. I've really pondered and asked myself why some women choose to remain under such circumstances. Here are possible answers to the question on my mind: 1.  Money : This seems to be about the greatest raison d'être that makes some women remain in broken relationship. They wrongly believe that it is better to suffer in wealth than to laugh in poverty. 2.  No Where To Go : This especially applies to women who marry men in another country (possibly better than theirs) and move over there with him. They tend to manage the domestic abuse for the want of a better life where they are and possible lack of another place to stay in that location. 3.  Inferiority Complex : Truthfully, some women stay in abusive relationships because they find themselves in an unfortunate situation where not too ...

Everyone, no matter how bad you think the person is, deserves to be in a relationship. However, the reality of the matter is that not everyone is able to stay in one. Even with the several articles on  red flags on a first date , people still go into relationships which do not eventually pass the test of time. So, on one hand there are things to watch out for before dating a person and on the other hand there are factors that can help you make an informed decision before you eventually say “I do”. A broken relationship, it has been said, is better than a broken marriage. Sometimes we don’t choose whom we fall in love with but we choose whom we stay in love with. In other words, you don’t stay in love with someone by mistake, it’s a choice. To buttress this point, Jessica Bunevacz says 'relationships are not all about fun and good times, but all relationships are work'. In light of this, we would examine a few factors to consider in determin...

The world has become so complex today that to actually find a partner who doesn’t cheat is becoming increasingly tougher by the day. Truthfully, no one goes into a relationship with a guy/girl who would cheat on them. For example, 70% of the ladies I speak to, tell me that their greatest turn off in a relationship is a guy who cheats. Now do not get me wrong, I’m in no way implying that its only guys that cheat, ‘cos we all know that both guys and girls cheat alike. However, it’s really not easy to spot a cheater, as there’s no sure-fire way to know who would and would not cheat/. Relationships vary and people have several reasons why they cheat. Even with the fact that there are different ways to cheat as well as different reasons why people cheat; there are a several traits that habitual cheaters share in common. A few of these habits would be looked at below. *They are glued to Their Phone Being glued to their phone is a common habit of people who cheat. They always ensur...

​The fact  that someone is part of your history  doesn't  necessarily imply that they must be part of your destiny. Know when to draw the  curtain. Whether you realize it or not, people who refuse to grow with you simply can't go with you. So often we get so caught up in our emotions that we seem to think that just because someone has been by our side for years that we are entitled to take them with us to each proceeding level of our lives. At some point in your life you must realize that everyone can’t go with you to the next level and here’s why: Some People Are Seasonal Tyler Perry put it best in his hit movie Madea Goes To Jail: Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or wind blows in your life they are gone. You...

“ Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.” says T.D Jakes. Although it may be hard to believe when we are in the midst of struggle, our deepest pain is the catalyst for our transformation.Yet, healing and growth are not possible if the door is still open to those people and experiences that chip away at your peace. Are you still allowing people and things that hurt you into your life? Truthfully, we cannot rebuke a devil that we continually grant access to our lives. You know that you don’t want to live in drama, for example, yet pick up the phone when that friend calls. He promised he would never put you down again, yet you’ve turned the other cheek so much your head is spinning. Protection of ourselves, and our core, is critical. Psychologists have found that slipping into patterns of self-sabotage happens all too easily.  In fact, whether it’s sticking to a health plan, quitting smoking, or removing ourselves from a toxic relations...

​According to World Report, over 70% of people land jobs through networking. Networking is key to advancing your career or business. When done correctly, it can result in a new position, contract or worthwhile business deal. On the other hand, when done ineffectively, though, it can lead to wasted time or –– far worse –– a bad first impression. At the core of good networking is effective relationship building, which means fostering meaningful conversations and focusing on the person to whom you are speaking. In turn, you’ll have the opportunity to share who you are and, in the process, uncover potential opportunities. Take your networking to the next level by avoiding these common mistakes people make when attempting to build their networks. 1. Don't Wait To Be Approached Avoid playing shy. You might not usually approach strangers, but networking events provide the perfect cover for you to initiate a conversation. Start by asking open-ended questi...

​Your network is indeed your net worth. Building genuine and productive relationships that prove mutually beneficial is one of the most crucial things you can do to position yourself for growth and success. While you should never force connections or relationships, your network should always be organically and consistently growing. Building a strong, reliable network can be a game-changer when it comes to progressing through your life and career. It is important to invest in people and relationships that are as diverse as your interests, curiosity and the opportunities you wish to attract. Fostering an authentic network can change your life, so never be afraid to fine-tune it as you see fit. If you are unsure as to whether there is a missing link in your network puzzle, here are three signs that it might be time for expansion. 1. You see the same people. Everywhere you go –– socially or professionally –– you never encounter fresh faces or make new intro...

So    you have that date with this folk you've probably never met before. Current of ideas flowing through our head and 'what to do' and 'what not to do'. Confusion (or anxiety-if you prefer that term) seems to made your mind its temporary residence.Finally the hour comes. You are the agreed venue for the date. At this point you're heart is probably giving you some nice DJ music (especially if its your first date). Now you're wondering "OMG!!! Do I like nice? Is my hair looking good? Do I smell nice? What would be his/her first reaction when we meet face-to-face. Wollup (hold up) Dear...With all these confusion, you would probably just mess up this while thing. Relax, you don't need to overthink things, just keep on reading. Below are 10 tips that would help you achieve a perfect 'first' date night (or could it be 'date morning or afternoon'-that would be a bit weird-night is just perfect) Show Up Early Showing up on time or fas...

First-date jitters are natural — you’ve probably thought endlessly about what you should wear, how to avoid awkward silences, and if you’re even going to like your potential match. There’s nothing wrong with being optimistic, but remember not to get too ahead of yourself, either. Even if you think things are going well, your date may be thinking just the opposite. And there’s no worse feeling than calling them a week later just to realize it’s always going straight to voicemail. So, we have a few tips to avoid the embarrassment. Watch for these 5 possible red flags on your first date. They keep checking their phone We all check our phones more often than we probably should, but when you’re on a date, it’s important to put your phone away and engage with the person sitting across from you. A companion who can’t put down his or her device is hinting how they feel the date is going. Andrew Przybylski, a psychologist at the Universi...

1. Men need three things . Before we got married, a good friend of the family gave me HER favorite advice and it stuck. From Dr. Laura’s book The Care and Feeding of Husbands, she told me men need three things: food, sex, and a girlfriend. In other words, their needs are not usually as complicated {some are, but that’s another post…}. I made sure to remember the first two often, but the “girlfriend” part is important. While you can and will be “the mom” of the house, no man wants to be married to his mom, so don’t be one to him. This thought has stopped me multiple times from turning into that naggy mom that I can be to my 3 year old all day, and causes me to see him as my boyfriend, my partner, who needs attention from me as his friend, and no one else. 2. Pray together every day . when we got home from our honeymoon, and we were settling in for the night that first night back to reality, we climbed into bed, and my sweet husband went ...

There are times that you shouldn’t be persistent. For instance, when that guy or girl clearly doesn’t like you and has told you no two or three times when you ask them out, then it’s time to give up and move on. If you are too persistent in that case, you could get slapped with a restraining order! But, in most cases, persistence is something that can pay off for you in your career, health, relationships, and happiness. Before you go off committing to everything in your life, you need to know a few things about being persistent that will help you make the most out of your determination. 1. Negative Emotions Can Arise Unless You Are Laid Back Highly persistent people tend to have better health and happiness overall, but research published in the Journal of Affective Disorders shows that they can also have more negative emotions and anxiety than people who are not highly persistent, especially if they are not laid back and tolerant of failure, difficulty, or setbacks. ...